Excerpts from Special Report: Return to India by Shobha Narayan

I read this special report on my way from work. This was forwarded to me by my husband and I took the print out to read the report in the bus that day on my way back.

That was in 2007 now it's 2009 and today while cleaning my den/home office I came across this report. This special report had seriously gotten me interested. As many Indian in the US, we also *very strongly* want to move back to India at the right time and since this report is about an Indian family that moved back to India after 20 years...the subject itself made me interested enough to read it. I must say it's a very well written report and I am going to include here some excerpts from this report which I found very interesting.

Home — a word filled with loss and longing. Snatches of music bring to mind a mother’s song.Smells in restaurants conjure up a kitchen back home. A face in a crowd looks like a relative.Birthdays, anniversaries and other milestones bring guilty reminders of aging parents and the relentless march of time.

The problem for economic immigrants like me,immigrants of this generation, is that we are equally at ease in two disparate cultures and therefore fit into neither. We do the Namaz five times a day while trading derivatives or keeping track of baseball scores. We can sing in Sanskrit and Rap. We belong to both countries, yet choose neither.

As with most immigrants, home for me is a mélange of memories that have softened with time into a happy haze, like an Impressionist painting.There are people in this painting: iconic figures like my grandmother. There are physical places and wide open spaces. Most delightful of all are the scents and tastes of childhood — the fragrance of blooming night jasmine, dew wobbling on a lotus leaf, tinkling cowbells, the taste of cilantro, cumin and ginger — all of which imbue me with a
powerful longing for the land that is called India,but which I call home.

Many times, the couple hasn’t saved enough money and decides to stay for
“just one more year,” for the income.

The arrival of children complicates the process but compounds the longing. Both my daughters are Americans by birth but cannot escape being Indian.As a mother, I want to offer my children America’s benevolence. But I also want to bequeath them India’s heritage. I know they will love America, but I also want them to love India just as I do.

Living in Queens, New Jersey or Long Island was Indian, while living in edgy Manhattan was more Western. Goods that offered value-for-money were Indian; outrageous splurges were Western. Driving an SUV or BMW was Western; driving a Toyota or Honda was definitely Indian. Decorating your home with Indian artifacts was obviously Indian, while buying minimalist modern furniture was Western.And so it went.

That changed after I became a mother and took upon myself the self-imposed
but nebulous task of passing on “Indian values and culture” to my child. I didn’t have a clue as to what exactly constituted Indian values....

My problem — and perhaps all women face this — was that depending on the event and the people involved, I switched roles and changed personas.In the presence of elder Indians, I reverted to what I called my “Indian bahu (daughter-in-law)” role,touching their feet respectfully, plying them with fresh lime and samosas, and politely calling them Auntie and Uncle. In the presence of Americans,however, I got into my “feminist” role — she of the strident laugh and strong opinions. My husband’s answer to all this was devastatingly simple: “Why don’t you just be who you are?”

What she felt for her daughter:
She would probably end up traumatized by these mixed messages. On the one hand, I wanted her to be humble and respectful to elders like a good Indian kid; on the other, I wanted her to be an American go-getter.

What surprised me was that motherhood changed my attitude towards America. Until then, America had been a welcoming land where I had spent ten glorious years being young and free. It had denied me nothing because of the color of my skin or the foreignness of my character. Indeed, it had allowed me to fly, freed me from the constraints of my
homeland.

Ram’s attitude towards parenting was more sanguine. He believed that as long as we gave
Ranjini a stable home and basic values such as honesty, compassion and equanimity, she would turn out fine.

“You are overanalyzing things,” he told me often.“There is no magic cause-and-effect for parenting. It is more like a crapshoot. You do what you can, and hope for the best.”

Cross-cultural parenting was harder than I thought.

India’s social fabric seemed more conducive to raising a family. There, I could call a neighbor, any neighbor, at a moment’s notice and ask her to watch my child while I ran out for some milk. I missed the septuagenarian grandfathers who patrolled my neighborhood and reported back all naughtiness and babysitter negligence. I had hated their interfering as a child; now, as a mother, I viewed them as allies. I missed the whole village of people who had raised me, who would help me raise my child.

For the first time in my life, I began missing my large, close-knit family. When Ranjini uttered her first word, there was no one to share the delight with me save my husband.When her arm swelled after a fall, I couldn’t S.O.S my grandmother right away for an herbal poultice recipe.

Becoming a citizen is like taking life insurance: It is a cushion

“Sometimes, I wish I were one of those lucky Indians who has no desire to move back, ever,”...

“Indian parenting is all about hanging on to your kids and smothering them and preserving their innocence for as long as possible. In America, it is all about independence — separating them,teaching them to become strong and independent individuals.”

“I also recognize that we have a set of circumstances that are unique. We would be fools not to take advantage of them. We get along with each other’s families, the kids are still
young, parents are healthy, and we’ve saved some money. So if we must move back, it has to be soon.”

“I don’t want to wake up as an old woman and wonder, ‘What if?’...Better to try and fail than not to have tried at all.”

“Well, it is a costly experiment,” Ram replied. “And this is not a game. This is our life. We can’t afford to fail. We have to make it work.”

While going through the report again to write this piece, I once again could see how I was able to relate to the mindset of the writer. I wonder if it's same with all of the immigrants...or most of the immigrants or some of the immigrants..???

HIS HOLINESS:DALAI LAMA

Recently on one of my visit to our neighbourhood library I happen to pick this book on Dalai Lama. Before I picked up this book I had heard about him in news only. With my such lil understanding about this grave person, I started to read about him. As I read about him, the Tibetan culture, the history involved the more enlightened I felt.And now I just can't stop myself from sharing few of the readings with you.

Go ahead and get Enlightened:

FACT SHEET

• Since 1959 Dalai Lama has lived in exile in India with about 100,000 Tibetans.
  
• There are still 6Million Tibetans whose lives in Tibet are miserable.
  
• Tibet is called the "Roof Top of the World"- because its elevation is so high.
  
• Capital City of Tibet is LHASA.
  
• Tibetans follow the teachings of Buddha(born 500yrs before Christ).
  
  Every Tibetan village, no matter how small has its own Buddhist temple,which is the center of Tibetan social religious life.
  
• Buddhist believe in INCARNATION(which means people are reborn many times on this earth) and NIRVANA(the state of perfection which can only be achieved after a person has learned many lessons and lived many lives)
• Since 1500- Dalai Lama has been their Buddhist leader who is considered bodily form of the Buddhist saint.


• In the Tibetan language 'Dalai' means 'Ocean' and 'Lama' means "Teacher" so Dalai Lama means"THE OCEAN OF WISDOM".

ABOUT CURRENT DALAI LAMA

• Last and 13th Dalai Lama of Tibetans died in 1933.


• The special child born in Takstr called himself Dalai Lama.


• The child was taken to Lhasa where in Potala Palace at the age of 5 he began his training with high Lamas.
  
• Along with subjects like Maths, Science, History and Languages, he was also taught passages from Buddhist holy book called "SUTRAS".
  
  In 1950, when he was 15, Dalai Lama was named the spiritual and political leader of Tibet.


• In 1950, the Communist Chinese imposed control over Tibet.The country was devastated and economy bankrupted.
  
  In 1954, at the age of 19, Dalai Lama went to Beijing to make peace with Chairman Mao Tse-Tung,the Communist leader,but peace was not to be made.
  
  In 1959 Communist Chinese army invaded Tibet.100s of Buddhist monasteries were destroyed and 100s of monks arrested or killed.


• On the night of 17th march Dalai Lama and a small party began harrowing towards escape from Tibet to India.
  

FINALLY,

• On March31st he reached India. He was 24 and his life in exile had begun.


• In Dharmashala he formed a Government-In-Exile.


• The Dalai Lama continues to live the spiritual life of a monk.


• Today Dalai Lama travels the world, giving speeches that have brought international attention to the plight of Tibet.


• In 1989, the Dalai Lama received the NOBEL PEACE PRIZE.

And now with few of his very meaningful quotes I would like to close this "Tribute to His Holiness-Dalai Lama"!

"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible."

"Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values. "

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. "

"Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent"

I hope you enjoyed reading!!!!

THREE FOLD OBJECTIVES OF AN ORGANIZATION

Here I am talking about the Three fold objectives of an Organization as stated by The Chairman, ICICI Bank.

ICICI Bank is not a name which needs an introduction to an ordinarily aware person. It is the second largest Bank in India and First Indian bank and First Non-Japan Asian bank or financial institution to be listed on the NYSE.

Few years ago I happen to read an interview of the Chairman of this prestigious and gigantic institution who has been with this institution and contributed his efforts for a long time and seen it grow. This respectable man's name is Mr. N. Vaghul, who was appointed as the seventh Chairman and Managing Director of ICICI Bank in the year 1985

That time I was in my first year M.B.A and these kind of articles would intrigue me a lot. I would read it again and again just to make sure if I am not missing on something important. And while I was going through this interview of him I found these three fold objectives as real golden words. I quoted him sometime in my presentation as well, where it received lots of appreciation.
Here they go:

• "ORGANIZATION SHOULD CONTRIBUTE TO REMAIN PROFITABLE SO THAT IT CAN STAY IN BUSINESS"


• "THE ORGANIZATION SHOULD CONTINUE TO GROW EITHER VERTICALLY OR HORIZONTALLY BUT SHOULD NEVER REMAIN STAGNANT."

"A STAGNANT ORGANIZATION IS A SURE RECIPE FOR DISASTER AS AMONG OTHER THINGS, IT FAILS TO PROVIDE GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES TO THE WORK FORCE TO ACHIEVE THEIR CAREER GOALS."

• "CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT IN THE WORKPLACE WHERE THE EMPLOYEES COULD ENJOY THEIR WORK WHILE REALISING THEIR FULLEST POTENTIAL"

I just couldn't agree with him any more. In nutshell he has summarized his whole life work experience. And now when I think of all the successful companies or read their history they all seem to have followed all these objectives in one way or the other.

Debate on Discrimination

These are the few points that I read somewhere on Discrimnation. It is about discrimnation based on casteism which is prevalent in India on a very large magnitude. Till date there are things like community from "higher cast" and community from "lower cast". Casteism is doing nothing but just fragmenting Indian people based on birth in certain classified family. Every year millions of people quarrel and thousands of people die fighting for or in the name of their cast. With education and awareness this is reducing and I hope it just fades away with time, for everybody's good! If you agree with me on this just read through the lines below you will find it just---Comforting.

• Casteism is racism of another sort.


• Its fighting against all kinds of discriminatory practices that racism implies. They are as the UN resolution, has classified, "based on race, color, descent or national or ethnic origin"


• It is the violation of the fundamental principle of human rights, which proclaims that all men are equal, not necessarily in income, wealth or capabilities, but in DIGNITY.


• Cast practices may be quite different from racial practices. But the subjects of those practices are all subject of gross violation of human rights and every state must accept the responsibility to redress that violation.


• Human Rights must get precedence over all other concern.

The line which impresses me the most is every citizen in this world might no be equal in Income, Wealth or Capabilities but everybody is equal in DIGNITY!!!And that's the Morale of the story. We got to respect each and every individual irrespective of the nature of his caste.

"Caste cannot be abolished by inter caste dinners or stray instances of inter caste marriages. Caste is a state of mind. It is a disease of mind." By: Dr. B.R. Ambedkar

The Indians need to understand the harm that poison of casteism is doing to them in such a progressive world, they also need to understand that if they take proper measures and manage to come out of this vicious net of social evil there can be no looking back in terms of social,political and economical progress of their society.

I can just spread the word around and would pledge you too to do that!!!

"LONG LIVE THE WORLD, LONG LIVE THE HUMANITY"

Persuit of Excellence

• " Excellence is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well."



• "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit."



• "Perfection is not attainable. But if we chase Perfection, we can catch Excellence."



• "If you want to achieve excellence, you can get there today. As of this second, quit doing Less-Than-Excellent work."

Excerpts from "To Kill a Mocking Bird" by Harper Lee

I just fell in love with the kids in the novel rather I fell in love with every character of the novel.

Here am writing the few lines from the novel which left impact-deep like ocean, on me.

Father saying about his thirteen year old son:

" Sometimes I think I am a total failure as a parent, but I am all they have got. Before Jem (son's name) looks at anyone else he looks at me, and I have tried to live so I can look squarely back at him,....If I connived at something like this, frankly I couldn't meet his eyes and the day I can't do that I will know I have lost him. I don't want to loose him and Scout, because they are all I have got."

Excerpts from "THE GOD OF SMALL THINGS" by Arundhati Roy

I read this 1997 Booker Award winning title in 2001, when I was in 3rd year of Engineering.
I really appreciated the work by ArundhatiRoy.


As I read through the novel there where few writings in between, particularly the excerpts where a normal thing was expressed in such a manner which exuded a rich class of writing and touched deep down the heart.


From time to time I flip through the old pages to read, not "WHAT" she has expressed but more because "HOW" she has expressed.

I am sure you will enjoy them the same as I do.Go ahead and indulge... :

• "Strange insects appeared like ideas in the evening"


• Describing an Old man- "Loose flesh that stretched willingly off his bones, like chewing gum"


• "She was Eighty-Three. Her eyes spread like butter behind her thick glasses"


• "Only the vines(trees) kept growing like the toe-nails on a corpse"


• "She said and closed her face like a cupboard"


• "Her grief and bitterness at her daughter's death coiled inside her like an angry spring"


• "Perhaps its true that things can change in a day. That a few dozen hours can affect the outcome of whole lifetime. And that when they do, those few dozen hours, like a salvaged remains of a burned house - must be resurrected from the ruins and examined. Preserved. Accounted for"


• " It began long before Christianity arrived in a boat and seeped into kerala like tea from a teabag"


• "Rahel's new teeth were waiting inside her gums like words in a pen."


• "He hadn't been to college which accounted for his schoolboy humour."


• "He drove the thoughts away angrily. It returned and sat outside his skull like a dog."


• " Velutha dipped a thin cotton towel in an earthen pot of water. He squeezed the water out of it (savagely, as though it was an unwanted thought)."


• "The smoke rose in dense fumes and arranged itself in complex patterns against the sky"


• "Secrets of the great stories is that they have no secrets. The great stories are the ones you have heard and want to hear again. The ones you can enter anywhere and inhabit comfortably. They don't deceive you with thrills and trick endings. They don't surprise you with the unforeseen. They are as familiar as the house you live in. Or the smell of your lover's skin. You know how they end, yet you listen as though you don't. In the way that although you know that one day you will die, you live as though you won't. In the great stories you know who lives, who dies, who finds love, who doesn't. And yet you want to know again.--- That is their mystery and their magic."


• "She thought of Chacko's laugh, and a smile stayed in her eyes for a long time."


• "She had come to Ayemenem to heal her wounded world and had lost all of it instead."


• "His mind hummed like a table fan."


• "A sound you hardly noticed, but would miss if it stopped"


• "She couldn't help thinking that the man he had become bore so little resemblance to the boy he had been. His smile was the only piece of baggage he had carried with him from boyhood to manhood."


• "The man standing in the shade of the rubber tree with coins of sunshine dancing on his body...."


• " He left behind a hole in the universe through which darkness poured like liquid tar."


• "Comrade Pillai realize that what we really needed was the process of war more than the outcome of victory"

I love all of the above but my favorite ones are "The secret of the great stories........" and "Perhaps its true that........" .In few words she has conveyed a lot.

I hope you enjoyed reading this.